Just a quick little note to say that the Lord met me where I was. I was close to the pit. I couldn't figure it out. I prayed and begged Him to speak, or show me what was wrong. I couldn't put my finger on it. My husband would come home from his 12 hour shift and I would tell him how I felt, but I had no words for it. I'm sure he thought I was losing it. We are so new to this adoption thing and havn't even begun the process that I am scared of scaring him away from it. He is for it! But I have a tendency to talk, talk, talk about whatever is exciting me. I guess I just felt so consumed with orphans and didn't know how to deal with the reality of it. So to talk so much about it and try to figure it out would have freaked him out and I know his eyes would eventually glaze over. I've seen it happen before.
So I couldn't really get all of the yucky out of my heart. I was confused about some things and just plain overwhelmed with THE WHOLE ORPHAN CRISIS. I was just having a hard time processing so much.
And to tell you the truth I feel like satan was trying to discourage me by overwhelming me. And it was working. I started to doubt adoption period. In the midst of this my emotions were shutting down.
But last night our preacher brought it! And the Lord spoke. And it changed me forever. I will have this child. She will be my victory. I will hold fast to this promise from a God who has heard my cries this week. He has seen my broken heart. He has heard my prayers for a changed heart. He has given me a promise of victory.
My emotions are in check, I have a full out joy for this promise. I am functioning with a real smile on my face today. I am at rest in Him.
Thank you Father.
Showing posts with label orphans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label orphans. Show all posts
Friday, September 17, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Adoption Fears
A few nights ago I laid awake and realized that I am very fearful about adopting. I put aside my excitement about having another child, about seeing God move in miraculous ways and about the adventures we would go on. I laid aside those things and got real with myself. Really, real and raw.
What if my daughter is jealous?
What if I don't bond with her?
What if my husband doesn't bond with her?
What if I don't feel the same love for her?
What if I regret adopting?
(And here is where it gets really bad)
What if I am a better mommy to an adopted child than to my own flesh and blood?
What if I have more patience with this child than my own?
What if my girl becomes bitter because I am a better mommy to her new sister?
You see, these may sound silly to you but they are real to me. And maybe its just not adopting that brings out these fears. I only have one child so I don't know. I do know that when you are a first time mom you seem to be more rigid. And then with each child you relax a little bit.
I have lost my patience with my girl more times than I can remember. I make her feel bad (sometimes) for things that aggravate me. We spend a lot of time together. She has never been to preschool and we home school. We are together basically anytime we are awake. So in the middle of the night I don't feel like sitting in the bathroom with you while you go poo poo. I want to sleep. I am not proud of these things and I try to do better. But she will remember these.
So, what if her sister wakes up in the middle of the night and wants me to sit in the bathroom with her for-EVER? How will I handle this? If I handle it right, will my girl become bitter and jealous?
So you see? There are many issues going through my head and heart. I know the Lord will work through these with me and for me. I know that satan HATES adoption. He HATES orphans and he HATES families that want to love on an orphan and bring them home. Satan will do everything in his power to discourage us, I know this and I am expecting it.
But I will fight it. God says strong and important things about orphans and He will fight for them until the end.
What if my daughter is jealous?
What if I don't bond with her?
What if my husband doesn't bond with her?
What if I don't feel the same love for her?
What if I regret adopting?
(And here is where it gets really bad)
What if I am a better mommy to an adopted child than to my own flesh and blood?
What if I have more patience with this child than my own?
What if my girl becomes bitter because I am a better mommy to her new sister?
You see, these may sound silly to you but they are real to me. And maybe its just not adopting that brings out these fears. I only have one child so I don't know. I do know that when you are a first time mom you seem to be more rigid. And then with each child you relax a little bit.
I have lost my patience with my girl more times than I can remember. I make her feel bad (sometimes) for things that aggravate me. We spend a lot of time together. She has never been to preschool and we home school. We are together basically anytime we are awake. So in the middle of the night I don't feel like sitting in the bathroom with you while you go poo poo. I want to sleep. I am not proud of these things and I try to do better. But she will remember these.
So, what if her sister wakes up in the middle of the night and wants me to sit in the bathroom with her for-EVER? How will I handle this? If I handle it right, will my girl become bitter and jealous?
So you see? There are many issues going through my head and heart. I know the Lord will work through these with me and for me. I know that satan HATES adoption. He HATES orphans and he HATES families that want to love on an orphan and bring them home. Satan will do everything in his power to discourage us, I know this and I am expecting it.
But I will fight it. God says strong and important things about orphans and He will fight for them until the end.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
On my mind...
You. This blog. You have been on my mind. I have neglected you to no end. I did spruce you up a bit, but I'd like to do more. You know, like post more often. I'd like to add more pictures too.
My girl. I have spent the last hour changing out clothing for fall/winter. (Yes! You heard that right! This Florida, I mean Virginia girl is in need of her fleece pants today!!!) As I am cleaning out her closet and her drawers I am sad. She hit a growth spurt this summer that knocked me to the ground. My 5 year old is no longer my baby. I can still catch a glimpse of her smallness. I see it in her little hands as shes doing a puzzle. I hear it in her sweet voice when she tells me she loves me.
Our bedroom doors are on either end of a hallway. She was in her room trying on clothes and I was spying on her from my bed. It was like all of the sudden she was 17. I saw her taller, leaner and grown up. And it made my heart hurt.
Turning 30 this year has changed my perspective on a lot of things. I have realized that this is the only life I get to live. It is spiraling out of control very quickly, meaning, the time...where has it gone? At the same time I am realizing I no longer have a baby. I have a child. And I guess what I am realizing is that I have taken all of these years for granted. Oh, I adored her and couldn't get enough of her as a baby. But then something happened where it became all about me. (getting real here...)Her constant chatter annoyed me, she got in my way a lot, and in general I wanted to be left alone. I definitely had issues and I feel like I worked through a lot of them. I know I have considering I can look back and see all the bad. Realizing that things aren't going to slow down and this is my only chance with her has snapped me out of my funk.
I told my husband last night that I am so thrilled to get to home school her. I thought that when she is 18 and headed to college I will be so grateful I was able to spend all this time with her, because I know I am going to miss her. Think of all the time that could be lost at school?
I have also been thinking a lot of how content I am. Its not like we are settled. We are far from it. We had planned on building this year while we rented, but we think God is changing our plans to include buying a house in the area.
But something about being in the mountains, something about experiencing fall weather ALREADY, it just has me at peace. God is so good to us, and He is at work in our lives and I am so happy and peaceful.
My marriage has been on my mind. We will celebrate our 10 year anniversary in December. Our marriage has never been easy. We've had a lot of ups and downs. Too many to count, but praise God!!!! we are still going at it. Ten years is a long time to get to know someone. I am just finally learning to relax, not take things so personally and stop being so sensitive. Whew! It took long enough and I am sure it will take another 10 years before I feel like I've half way conquered them.
I have been thinking a lot about my other daughter. This past January God put a small Chinese girl in front of us and said I have this for you. We have had a little Chinese girl on our hearts whenever we talk about her or pray. but recently God has shown me that she may not be Chinese and would I be ok with that? Yeah, I don't really think He was asking my permission either. Lets just consider that a rhetorical question. After prayer and seeking Him, Yes, I am ok with that. So, now our next daughter has no face. But she does have a name. We havn't even started the process due to the fact that my husband just started a job this week and makes no where near the required income. (Does anyone have any loopholes around this)?
So, So many things on my mind these past few weeks. So lets just say that I am a happy and content woman who is loving on her girl like crazy, loving being married and dreaming of a little girl who will one day be mine. Life is good.
My girl. I have spent the last hour changing out clothing for fall/winter. (Yes! You heard that right! This Florida, I mean Virginia girl is in need of her fleece pants today!!!) As I am cleaning out her closet and her drawers I am sad. She hit a growth spurt this summer that knocked me to the ground. My 5 year old is no longer my baby. I can still catch a glimpse of her smallness. I see it in her little hands as shes doing a puzzle. I hear it in her sweet voice when she tells me she loves me.
Our bedroom doors are on either end of a hallway. She was in her room trying on clothes and I was spying on her from my bed. It was like all of the sudden she was 17. I saw her taller, leaner and grown up. And it made my heart hurt.
Turning 30 this year has changed my perspective on a lot of things. I have realized that this is the only life I get to live. It is spiraling out of control very quickly, meaning, the time...where has it gone? At the same time I am realizing I no longer have a baby. I have a child. And I guess what I am realizing is that I have taken all of these years for granted. Oh, I adored her and couldn't get enough of her as a baby. But then something happened where it became all about me. (getting real here...)Her constant chatter annoyed me, she got in my way a lot, and in general I wanted to be left alone. I definitely had issues and I feel like I worked through a lot of them. I know I have considering I can look back and see all the bad. Realizing that things aren't going to slow down and this is my only chance with her has snapped me out of my funk.
I told my husband last night that I am so thrilled to get to home school her. I thought that when she is 18 and headed to college I will be so grateful I was able to spend all this time with her, because I know I am going to miss her. Think of all the time that could be lost at school?
I have also been thinking a lot of how content I am. Its not like we are settled. We are far from it. We had planned on building this year while we rented, but we think God is changing our plans to include buying a house in the area.
But something about being in the mountains, something about experiencing fall weather ALREADY, it just has me at peace. God is so good to us, and He is at work in our lives and I am so happy and peaceful.
My marriage has been on my mind. We will celebrate our 10 year anniversary in December. Our marriage has never been easy. We've had a lot of ups and downs. Too many to count, but praise God!!!! we are still going at it. Ten years is a long time to get to know someone. I am just finally learning to relax, not take things so personally and stop being so sensitive. Whew! It took long enough and I am sure it will take another 10 years before I feel like I've half way conquered them.
I have been thinking a lot about my other daughter. This past January God put a small Chinese girl in front of us and said I have this for you. We have had a little Chinese girl on our hearts whenever we talk about her or pray. but recently God has shown me that she may not be Chinese and would I be ok with that? Yeah, I don't really think He was asking my permission either. Lets just consider that a rhetorical question. After prayer and seeking Him, Yes, I am ok with that. So, now our next daughter has no face. But she does have a name. We havn't even started the process due to the fact that my husband just started a job this week and makes no where near the required income. (Does anyone have any loopholes around this)?
So, So many things on my mind these past few weeks. So lets just say that I am a happy and content woman who is loving on her girl like crazy, loving being married and dreaming of a little girl who will one day be mine. Life is good.
Monday, August 16, 2010
The Body of Christ
I cannot even begin to tell you how this new church of ours has ministered to our hearts. I've been there almost 6 weeks now and feel like I never want to leave. I know that the "honeymoon" phase will pass, but God has brought us to this place. I'm not really sure we would be doing as good as we are without this body of believers.
Remember the home school curriculum? Well, it turned out to be the complete Kindergarten set from A Beka. This is the curriculum that is used at the church's school. I do not have to buy one item for Kindergarten and it is top quality stuff. To think that God provided that for us before we even knew we needed it amazes me to no end. Speaking of their school, we were offered free tuition this year. Free private school tuition? Ummm, Wow! We have been asking the Lord for His wisdom, and I believe we are going to continue the plans to homeschool. I know...who turns down free private school education? Well, apparently we do. The final decision has not been made yet as we are still asking the Lord for an answer.
Last night the men laid hands on my husband and prayed that the Lord would provide a job for him that is beyond anything we can imagine. We have been asking the Lord for the same thing. My husband was moved to tears as he stood up and praised God for believers who fill up our spiritual tank. We leave there loved on and encouraged by every single person. They love on us like we've been members for 30 years. We are so very thankful to God for His provision in leading us to this church.
You know how you can just tell when God is about to do something really big? We have had that feeling these past few weeks. Of course then my husband lost his job. That's big. But God is about to do something bigger.
Speaking of big, a child was conceived in our hearts on January 15, 2010. We attended Winter Jam 2010. We sponsored a Chinese girl. Our hearts were moved. The Lord has been at work. He has used women of God in my life to speak truth about the orphan. I have learned so much and have been taught so much about God's faithfulness in adoption and I have been able to pass it along to my husband. Adoption is scary. International adoption is down right terrifying. The money? Forget about it. The travel? I've hardly left the east coast of the U.S. But disobeying God's prompting to adopt is even more scary.
He's been speaking about it though. He's been working on our hearts. He's given me a name. And I mean that there is no way that I will ever name her anything else. He has laid it on my heart to stop giving away my daughter's clothes. Usually I find a family with smaller girls and pass them on. Or I give them to my mom for her foster care closet. I didn't hear a voice, but I felt a gentle leading to stop. Just plain and simple, stop giving away the clothes. I can sense that He is working.
Let me just stop and clarify that last statement. I have never been one to hear God speaking to me. I have always wanted to, but didn't really know how to listen. But, again, thanks to Godly women, I am learning more. I try to soften my heart in so many ways. I lean in and listen. I have learned THE HARD WAY to listen good and when I think its the Lord speaking I better listen up and listen good. About 90% of the time, its Him and He means business.
So, I'm sensing Him move. All this during a time when we are renting a house that we can't afford. My husband has no job, our property has a foundation on it only. And we are not sure if we even have the money to finish it. We are caught somewhere in the middle. Now, this is a good time to see God work miracles in our lives. Can God work when everything is perfect? Oh sure. But I think we will be most likely to take credit for it ourselves. How does it go? When we are weak, He is strong. When we can't get our crap together, then the Lord can work. When we can't do it ourselves, the Lord steps in.
I just wanted to let you know whats been swirling around in my heart lately. I would appreciate your sincere prayers for our family. Praise God we are healthy! But its still hard when its finances. How can I pray for you today?
Remember the home school curriculum? Well, it turned out to be the complete Kindergarten set from A Beka. This is the curriculum that is used at the church's school. I do not have to buy one item for Kindergarten and it is top quality stuff. To think that God provided that for us before we even knew we needed it amazes me to no end. Speaking of their school, we were offered free tuition this year. Free private school tuition? Ummm, Wow! We have been asking the Lord for His wisdom, and I believe we are going to continue the plans to homeschool. I know...who turns down free private school education? Well, apparently we do. The final decision has not been made yet as we are still asking the Lord for an answer.
Last night the men laid hands on my husband and prayed that the Lord would provide a job for him that is beyond anything we can imagine. We have been asking the Lord for the same thing. My husband was moved to tears as he stood up and praised God for believers who fill up our spiritual tank. We leave there loved on and encouraged by every single person. They love on us like we've been members for 30 years. We are so very thankful to God for His provision in leading us to this church.
You know how you can just tell when God is about to do something really big? We have had that feeling these past few weeks. Of course then my husband lost his job. That's big. But God is about to do something bigger.
Speaking of big, a child was conceived in our hearts on January 15, 2010. We attended Winter Jam 2010. We sponsored a Chinese girl. Our hearts were moved. The Lord has been at work. He has used women of God in my life to speak truth about the orphan. I have learned so much and have been taught so much about God's faithfulness in adoption and I have been able to pass it along to my husband. Adoption is scary. International adoption is down right terrifying. The money? Forget about it. The travel? I've hardly left the east coast of the U.S. But disobeying God's prompting to adopt is even more scary.
He's been speaking about it though. He's been working on our hearts. He's given me a name. And I mean that there is no way that I will ever name her anything else. He has laid it on my heart to stop giving away my daughter's clothes. Usually I find a family with smaller girls and pass them on. Or I give them to my mom for her foster care closet. I didn't hear a voice, but I felt a gentle leading to stop. Just plain and simple, stop giving away the clothes. I can sense that He is working.
Let me just stop and clarify that last statement. I have never been one to hear God speaking to me. I have always wanted to, but didn't really know how to listen. But, again, thanks to Godly women, I am learning more. I try to soften my heart in so many ways. I lean in and listen. I have learned THE HARD WAY to listen good and when I think its the Lord speaking I better listen up and listen good. About 90% of the time, its Him and He means business.
So, I'm sensing Him move. All this during a time when we are renting a house that we can't afford. My husband has no job, our property has a foundation on it only. And we are not sure if we even have the money to finish it. We are caught somewhere in the middle. Now, this is a good time to see God work miracles in our lives. Can God work when everything is perfect? Oh sure. But I think we will be most likely to take credit for it ourselves. How does it go? When we are weak, He is strong. When we can't get our crap together, then the Lord can work. When we can't do it ourselves, the Lord steps in.
I just wanted to let you know whats been swirling around in my heart lately. I would appreciate your sincere prayers for our family. Praise God we are healthy! But its still hard when its finances. How can I pray for you today?
Friday, January 29, 2010
Please Pray for Ronel
I have mentioned a few times that I have not slept well this week. Part of it was because my girl has been sick. One night she peed on the floor AGAIN. Yes, again. Let's not talk about it. Those are the reasons I have had interrupted sleep. But I don't have a reason why I lay there with my eyes wide open and my brain swirling and twirling. Last night I was fed up. I looked through my tub of medicine for some tylenol pm. I was sore from who knows what and I needed to sleep. Problem solved. I found some of the Tylenol warming liquid. I have used it once before and oh my word. IT WORKS! As I lay in my bed last night my body was affected by the medicine, but my mind was still working. I knew it wouldn't be long before that went too, but for the moment I was stuck in that position with one thing on my mind.
Ronel.
I don't know this family, but the day I clicked on that link that took me to their blog was the day that broke my heart. His pictures. This Haitian boy is beautiful. His smile. I prayed for him last night, with a half asleep brain. But God heard my heart. I told myself that I would write something on here in hopes that more people will lift him up in prayer. I don't get much traffic on here, but I know that doing this is being obedient to my God.
Please pray for Ronel. Pray for his family. Pray for his paperwork. Pray for his safety. And please, if you have the time, visit this blog and see his smile for yourself. You won't soon forget it.
18I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.
John 14:18 (New International Version)
Ronel.
I don't know this family, but the day I clicked on that link that took me to their blog was the day that broke my heart. His pictures. This Haitian boy is beautiful. His smile. I prayed for him last night, with a half asleep brain. But God heard my heart. I told myself that I would write something on here in hopes that more people will lift him up in prayer. I don't get much traffic on here, but I know that doing this is being obedient to my God.
Please pray for Ronel. Pray for his family. Pray for his paperwork. Pray for his safety. And please, if you have the time, visit this blog and see his smile for yourself. You won't soon forget it.
18I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.
John 14:18 (New International Version)
Monday, January 25, 2010
Nothing New Under the Sun
I wish I could say that we had the most exciting weekend ever! Quite the opposite. It was very boring. But I like boring. We had some rough storms run through the area and a the excitment of a slight fever but thats about it.
The fever came Saturday night. That almost always means that Sunday will be the olympic sport of husband and I taking turns fulfilling our duties. We live on the church propery, you see. About 25 steps to the door of the church to be exact. I think we tag teamed about 5 times yesterday.
So, back to Saturday night. The girl has recently been earning an allowance for doing certain chores around the house. One of these is folding laundry. Can I just say that I'm LOVING this? Anyway, 3 loads of laundry, multiple drinks of water, 3 bathroom breaks, 10 announcements that she was tired and wanted to go to bed (5:30pm), 2 declarations that she didn't feel good (would you believe her? I didn't), and 2 hours later she was done with the folding of the laundry. We took a quick bath and I knew. I love being a mom because you always just know. Just one feel of heat on her body and all those goosebumps in the bath and I knew. The thermometer registered 100.6. Doable with a little tylenol. I decided to make it fun and have a campout in the living room. Ok, I actually did this so I could be close to her. The past has told me that fever spikes in the middle of the night equals vomit in the bed.
Yesterday, like I said, we tag teamed at church. After an extra long nap we went through Starbucks and headed to the park. The girl was feeling slightly better and we decided to go feed the ducks. We determined that the ducks must have been ever further south from our small cold snap a few weeks back. We fed the fish instead. This is much to the dismay of a man fly fishing at the other end of the lake. Seriously, we got quite a few big fish eating the bread that after 5 minutes of the us being there he gave up. Sorry dude, its a park. Kids like to feed the fish.
I realize this post might be bringing you to tears from the boredom.
If you are looking for something really worthwhile to read, try googling "adopting from haiti." I think you will find a few bloggers whose family was finally complete this weekend. If you didn't catch any of the footage on the news, go to the ABC network and catchup on the stories. Beautiful.
He puts the lonley in families.
Love it.
The fever came Saturday night. That almost always means that Sunday will be the olympic sport of husband and I taking turns fulfilling our duties. We live on the church propery, you see. About 25 steps to the door of the church to be exact. I think we tag teamed about 5 times yesterday.
So, back to Saturday night. The girl has recently been earning an allowance for doing certain chores around the house. One of these is folding laundry. Can I just say that I'm LOVING this? Anyway, 3 loads of laundry, multiple drinks of water, 3 bathroom breaks, 10 announcements that she was tired and wanted to go to bed (5:30pm), 2 declarations that she didn't feel good (would you believe her? I didn't), and 2 hours later she was done with the folding of the laundry. We took a quick bath and I knew. I love being a mom because you always just know. Just one feel of heat on her body and all those goosebumps in the bath and I knew. The thermometer registered 100.6. Doable with a little tylenol. I decided to make it fun and have a campout in the living room. Ok, I actually did this so I could be close to her. The past has told me that fever spikes in the middle of the night equals vomit in the bed.
Yesterday, like I said, we tag teamed at church. After an extra long nap we went through Starbucks and headed to the park. The girl was feeling slightly better and we decided to go feed the ducks. We determined that the ducks must have been ever further south from our small cold snap a few weeks back. We fed the fish instead. This is much to the dismay of a man fly fishing at the other end of the lake. Seriously, we got quite a few big fish eating the bread that after 5 minutes of the us being there he gave up. Sorry dude, its a park. Kids like to feed the fish.
I realize this post might be bringing you to tears from the boredom.
If you are looking for something really worthwhile to read, try googling "adopting from haiti." I think you will find a few bloggers whose family was finally complete this weekend. If you didn't catch any of the footage on the news, go to the ABC network and catchup on the stories. Beautiful.
He puts the lonley in families.
Love it.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Memorial Box Monday
Ok, I just had to check and make sure it was actually Monday. When you don't work I think you lose all sense of time!! (Work...I know, keeping a house and a husband happy. Homeschooling in the midst of it. Yes, fun stuff, but work nonetheless!)
My first Memorial Box Monday post. Linn, over at A place Called Simplicity started this. You tell about what cool thing God has done for you. Or about His incredible faithfulness. You find something that represents this story and display it in your house. Ideally you would use a memorial box, but I don't have one yet.
Today's post has a lot to do with sponsoring Mu. I wonder if I made myself clear when I talked about how cool it was that we are doing this. I don't want to say that my husband is a scrooge. He has a big heart. But it is his tendency to save. He is 41 and isn't even really "settled" yet. We are working on this in building our house. But he just wants to get this done. Money is to be saved.
So in doing this, I believe it is an act of obedience. And since Friday night I have had more peace than I have had in a long time. I believe it comes from being obedient. I also have had an excitement about what God is going to do from here. I don't have a clue what His plans are. And He reminded me last night that His ways are not my ways, not are my thoughts His thoughts. But I do know that He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widows. And if we are willing to be used, then He will use us.
This isn't a traditional Memorial Box Monday post from what I've seen. But this story tells of God's faithfulness in our lives. This is the start of something beautiful.
My husband would probably think I was nuts for going on and on about this. I just don't think he knows the magnitude of this in our lives yet. Because our God is big. And His plans are big. And we get to be included in them. And that is exciting.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
The Orphan
updated:
I got permission to link to a blog that I love:
A Place Called Simplicity
This is Linn and she is incredible. She has introduced me to the orphan through her blog. God has used her to speak to me in so many areas of my life. But caring for the orphan is just the beginning. She has adopted multiple children and has 10 children total. Her heart is so beautiful that I know you will feel the same way. Please check out her blog.
God's Word is extremely clear in the way He feels about the orphan. He is for the orphan. Just look at what is says here in James:
James 1:27 (New International Version)
27Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
I owe a lot of my knowledge about the orphan to a fellow blogger. She is an advocate for orphans and her life is overflowing in blessing because of it. And it is because God led me to her blog exactly one year ago this week that my heart is breaking for the orphans of the world.
I have been praying for awhile now that God would break my heart for the things that break His. A great prayer by the way, if you are looking for something specific to pray. The Bible says that a lot is expected from those who have a lot. We don't have a lot by any means, but we are more than blessed. I have been reading about all of the great work that Compassion is doing. What a great group of people. In my heart, I've wanted to do something, but I just wasn't sure what God had in mind. I specifically wanted to do something for the orphan. But as far as I know Compassion works with children who already have families. Not that these children don't deserve the help. These children live in poverty. Way below poverty. They need your help. Help them. Its just that in my heart the orphan was calling my name. I knew that sponsoring would not be a viable option right now. We are trying to build a house. A modest house, but we are trying to do this with cash. And that takes saving a LOT of cash. (I'll post about this another time.) So, when you are trying to build a home with cash, you don't really want anything else going out the door. You tend to hold onto every cent. Not a great philosophy, but a very common one I think.
So, I knew my husband would not be game. I've brought it up in conversation a few times, but never pushed the issue. (Again, I wanted to do some kind of sponsorship, but wasn't sure how to do this for the orphan.) My husband is all about saving money and was not into it. I kept waiting. Not intentionally, but just set it aside in my head and prayed about it now and then.
Fast forward to last Friday night. We attended the Winter Jam. Many wonderful artist and we had a great time!!! It was then we were introduced to Holt International. It was an answer to my prayers. They work specifically with the orphan. You can sponsor an orphan while they are waiting to be adopted. It takes quite a bit of money to run an orphanage and take decent care of the children. So you send $30 a month. And get this, they estimate it will take 6-18 months to place the children in homes. So, you pay until they are adopted. Then you can decide to sponsor another child or stop right there.
During the intermission my husband looked at me and said if I wanted to sponsor a child, we can do it. I about fell out of my seat. God had been working on his heart this whole time. And let me just say that this has been a rough year for our family. For us to sponsor this child is a true miracle. Through this small act, God is giving me a glimpse of the hope that is in our future.
So, my girl is 5 and I was looking for one close to her age. And I knew for sure that I wanted her to be Chinese. We chose Mu. She is a sweet, beautiful newly turned 8 year old. I don't have a lot of info on her yet. I can't wait to get it. My heart is overflowing for this girl. God is so good.
There has also been talk about some more permanant decisions regarding the orphan. I can't wrap my brain around it, but folks, believe me when I tell you that this is a miracle.
I got permission to link to a blog that I love:
A Place Called Simplicity
This is Linn and she is incredible. She has introduced me to the orphan through her blog. God has used her to speak to me in so many areas of my life. But caring for the orphan is just the beginning. She has adopted multiple children and has 10 children total. Her heart is so beautiful that I know you will feel the same way. Please check out her blog.
God's Word is extremely clear in the way He feels about the orphan. He is for the orphan. Just look at what is says here in James:
James 1:27 (New International Version)
27Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
I owe a lot of my knowledge about the orphan to a fellow blogger. She is an advocate for orphans and her life is overflowing in blessing because of it. And it is because God led me to her blog exactly one year ago this week that my heart is breaking for the orphans of the world.
I have been praying for awhile now that God would break my heart for the things that break His. A great prayer by the way, if you are looking for something specific to pray. The Bible says that a lot is expected from those who have a lot. We don't have a lot by any means, but we are more than blessed. I have been reading about all of the great work that Compassion is doing. What a great group of people. In my heart, I've wanted to do something, but I just wasn't sure what God had in mind. I specifically wanted to do something for the orphan. But as far as I know Compassion works with children who already have families. Not that these children don't deserve the help. These children live in poverty. Way below poverty. They need your help. Help them. Its just that in my heart the orphan was calling my name. I knew that sponsoring would not be a viable option right now. We are trying to build a house. A modest house, but we are trying to do this with cash. And that takes saving a LOT of cash. (I'll post about this another time.) So, when you are trying to build a home with cash, you don't really want anything else going out the door. You tend to hold onto every cent. Not a great philosophy, but a very common one I think.
So, I knew my husband would not be game. I've brought it up in conversation a few times, but never pushed the issue. (Again, I wanted to do some kind of sponsorship, but wasn't sure how to do this for the orphan.) My husband is all about saving money and was not into it. I kept waiting. Not intentionally, but just set it aside in my head and prayed about it now and then.
Fast forward to last Friday night. We attended the Winter Jam. Many wonderful artist and we had a great time!!! It was then we were introduced to Holt International. It was an answer to my prayers. They work specifically with the orphan. You can sponsor an orphan while they are waiting to be adopted. It takes quite a bit of money to run an orphanage and take decent care of the children. So you send $30 a month. And get this, they estimate it will take 6-18 months to place the children in homes. So, you pay until they are adopted. Then you can decide to sponsor another child or stop right there.
During the intermission my husband looked at me and said if I wanted to sponsor a child, we can do it. I about fell out of my seat. God had been working on his heart this whole time. And let me just say that this has been a rough year for our family. For us to sponsor this child is a true miracle. Through this small act, God is giving me a glimpse of the hope that is in our future.
So, my girl is 5 and I was looking for one close to her age. And I knew for sure that I wanted her to be Chinese. We chose Mu. She is a sweet, beautiful newly turned 8 year old. I don't have a lot of info on her yet. I can't wait to get it. My heart is overflowing for this girl. God is so good.
There has also been talk about some more permanant decisions regarding the orphan. I can't wrap my brain around it, but folks, believe me when I tell you that this is a miracle.
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