One time I prayed that God would somehow provide some praise and worship music for me for free. When I prayed this I envisioned someone walking up to me and giving me a great praise and worship CD. Even though a praise and worship CD would be something worth the money spent, I still couldn't justify buying anything that wasn't a necessity. Besides, wouldn't it be more fun if the Lord decided which praise He wanted me to have.
By the next day I forgot I had prayed that prayer. Do you ever do that?
A few months ago our music minister approached me about singing on our church's Praise Team. I am not a professional. I love to sing and I can carry a tune. I was a little surprised, but I accepted. If anything, I could enjoy the singing. The "training" couldn't hurt either. And by training I mean the experience I could get being up on a stage in front of people without forgetting my words. I get bad stage fright. I block out the whole experience of singing special music. Sometimes I sit down and wonder if anyone clapped. Not that they should but I just couldn't remember if they did.
I have so enjoyed the experience. While our music minister probably wishes I had a little more stage presence, I am getting more comfortable. I can't exactly engage the crowd, but I can actually glance in their general direction for a few seconds. Besides, (here is where I insert my opinion) I'm not there to put on a show. The words to our songs are put on a big screen for the congregation and the musicians have one in the back as well. I need to look at those words. Being on the stage makes me nervous and I need the words. I don't exactly want to be fumbling for words into the mic while others are trying to worship. But that's not the only reason. If I keep my eyes on the words, not only can I keep my place, but I can concentrate on the words a lot easier. I can concentrate on the Lord.
Maybe that is why I will never be "good" at the Praise Team. I don't put on a show. I can't. I won't. I want to be transparent. If I'm feeling a little nervous or if I just want to concentrate on the words, that is what your going to see.
This week I have been packing. More on this later. Going through all the crap I have found numerous CD's shoved on, around and in my stereo. I grabbed the garbage bag, my best friend, and decided to just toss most of the CD's since I knew they were all practice CD's.
Then I had my aha moment. Practice CD's full of praise and worship songs. For free.
The Lord had heard the prayer I prayed in passing. He heard and He loves me enough to give me what I ask.
Lord, thank You for opening my eyes to Your great provision. And for Your great provision.