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Sunday, April 4, 2010


We dyed eggs. We hunted them. We bought fancy new dresses. We pigged out from a wicker basket filled with yummy candy. My girl got a Barbie.

But make no mistake.

We are celebrating the risen Jesus Christ.

The One who was God and man. The One who went willingly to a cross.

Lately I have wondered who in my life truly loves me. I have been asking God to speak to me about this. I need His opinion. He spoke. Very vividly.

Picture the usual scene of the crucifixion. Remember how He was beaten and mocked and spit upon. Remember all of those intense details. Don't just remember them. Read about them. Put yourself there.

Imagine that all of this happened over 2,000 years ago. And then imagine that you were the only person on this earth who would sin. Imagine that Jesus would go willingly to that cross 2,000 years ago knowing that in 1980, the only sinner would be born. Can you imagine that He would still go through all of what He went through. Would He do that for me? If I were the only one ever to need a Savior, would He still do it?

It is hard to understand that kind of love, but yes He would still die for me alone.

When I close my eyes in the quiet of the night I picture Him walking with that cross. I see all of those people not understanding why He is putting Himself through that. They all wonder because there is not a sinner among them. But little do they know that thousands of years later one sinner would be born to need a Savior. Me. I believe He would have nailed Himself to that cross for me if He had to.

When I think that He would indeed to that for me and me alone, I know He is the only one that loves me like I need to be loved. I never have to question how much He loves me. I just need to close my eyes and watch Him go willingly to that cross.

It is truly unbelievable.

The reality is that we all need a Savior. When we think of it in such a broad spectrum like that, it is easy to feel left out. I do all the time. I think it is good for us to envision Him singling us out to love us so much.

Tonight I was having a conversation with my daughter about Jesus' second coming. We talked about watching the eastern sky and how He will come from the clouds to take us with Him to heaven. One of her bajillion questions was this:

What if Jesus forgets me?

I told her that when me, daddy and her go to walmart and we turn around and realize she isn't there, we start to look for her. We call for her. We don't stop until we find her.

I told her God will have thousands of people with Him (really a LOT more than that, but for the sake of her little brain I said thousands) but He would know if she wasn't there. He'd call for her and look for her until she was found. Again, its not likely that she won't be there since she has already prayed the sinner's prayer, but she can't understand the logistics of the 2nd coming. Heck, I can barely understand it.

The point is that God would know immediately that one of His children were missing. Immediately. And He would call for you.

It is a struggle for me to sometimes accept Jesus' love as personal. I envision Him loving the whole world. And yes, that world includes me, but I just can't personalize it.

When I get these little thoughts in my head, I sense that God is trying to grow me in this area. I never had a parent who made me feel special. My mom was a single mom with 3 kids. She was busy. My dad was an alcoholic. My step dad was, well, my step dad. I want that so badly that sometimes I make my poor husband miserable. But the Lord is the ONLY One who can love me like that.

His love is personal for each of us.

Happy Easter. I hope your celebration of the risen Lord was sweet.

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