Adoption Fundraiser

Please visit my etsy shop (lower right side of your screen) if you are interested in my adoption fundraiser.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Feeling like a Fraud

Not the feeling I want this time of year.
So, we don't "do" Santa. My 5 year old knows that Santa is pretend and her gifts are already under the tree. The thing is though, when we are in public and some kind hearted soul asks my girl if she is ready for Santa, I freeze. I've taught my daughter what to say, but she is shy (like me) and doesn't speak to a lot of strangers. So, she looks to me to answer for her. She probably is also a little confused because an adult is asking her about Santa. But I can't spit the answer out either. I'm embarrased. I don't want some judging me in the way I raise my daughter. So, I just smile and nod. And get this:
How's that for good mothering?
I'm so glad I've realized this now so as not to ruin the heck out of my daughter in the future. Thank you Lord for showing this to me.
I have slowly started speaking the truth in love. And yes, elderly people look at me like I'm the devil. And yes, I feel guilty. But, I have stood up for what I believe in and my daughter will hopefully do the same when she is grown. Or not grown.
This whole Santa vs. No Santa has really gotten to me this year.
We did Santa when I was a child. As did my husband's family. But never once did we consider it for our girl. Weird huh? Same thing with homeschooling. My husband and I both went to public school. But never once did we consider anything else but homeschool when we had our baby. I feel like we were following the guidance of our Lord. Is it hard? Yeah. Do we sometimes feel like outcasts? A lot! Do we sometimes feel guilty for denying our daughter normal children's rite of passages? Sometimes. Do we get judged because of our choices? All the time. By people we love too. Hard, yeah.
But...does living for Christ mean being a radical in today's society? Yes it does. It's called going against the grain. Some people go against the grain for fun. Because they have the personality for it. They like to get people all roughed up with their difference. This isn't like that at all. We are not radicals by nature. But Jesus has called us to be radicals. To go against the grain. To be in the world, but not of it. To be intentional in the way we live.
Some examples:
I miss watching Grey's Anatomy. But I realized that it did not please Christ. Oh, it was hard to break away. Just like any other sin. But looking back, I can't remember what I was missing.
I was disgusted with Sesame Street this morning. They did a skit on "desperate houseplants." Sorry, not gonna expose her to something not so innocent. Even when she doesn't know what it means.
No Santa...we've already covered that.
Homeschool...."Don't you think your child needs some interaction?" Please, the world needs a new line.
Our family has a lot of issues to work on, but we are always striving to please Christ with everything we do an say.

No comments:

Post a Comment