Cancer

We've been here almost 7 months. Doesn't seem like a long time to really get to know someone. And really it isn't. Our pastor's wife is an exception. Its only been 7 months but I know her. I know she is an amazing woman with an amazing spirit and love for Jesus. I am not just being nice when I tell you how strong she is. Her love for the Lord shows on every part of her life. I love her.

She has cancer. Again. Things are less than great. So, please stop right now and offer up a prayer of healing for her.

Thank you.

2010

Aside from getting married or giving birth this has been one of the most eventful years of my entire life. 2010 brought us a flurry of change, trust, love, trust, snow, change and more trust.

January
I should have known all that this year had in store for our family considering God started us off with a BANG. The 15th was the night God pricked our heart about adoption. My husband heard the call and we were both thrilled!


February
My husband was laid off from his job of 6 years. It was hard to believe, yet almost expected. The Florida unemployment rate was on the rise due to a bad economy and non-existent new construction. We prayed and asked for wisdom about whether to stay in Florida or seek employment in our true love-Virginia. God answered and we felt like it was time to make the move. We just needed a job first.


March
Still no sign of a job after many, many resumes were sent off. We enjoyed this month just spending time together. We took a trip up North to visit family. While we were there my husband's grandmother passed away. It was a bitter sweet time as we were sad for her departure but were able to make sure she was on her way to the King!


April
This was the month of transition. My husband found a job! We won't talk about what kind of a job it turned out to be. Well, maybe I will bring that up in a few months down the page...
My husband moved to Virginia to start his job. I stayed back for one week and packed up the entire house. It was a hard week being in Florida (with no car) and trying to get a grasp on the fact that my home state of 11 years was about to come to an end. The next week me and my girl moved to Tennessee to live with my mother for the next 3 months. My husband continued to work and try to find a place for us to live. Talk about living by faith. I still can't believe we made a blind move to a place where we did not know one person!


May
I turned 30! Scary and sobering. I had a revelation that I am not getting any younger. Surprise!
Still being separated from my husband and only seeing him every other weekend is taking its toll. He is about to have a breakdown in Virginia and I am feeling lost and disconnected from him more every day. His job is not going well at all.


June
My husband finds our (now) home church. God uses the preacher to speak to him about a lot of stuff. My husband has a heart change and is like a new man. God does a miracle. We spend a lot of time at Dollywood.


July
Praise the Lord we are together again! We head down to Florida to pick up all of our stuff and hit the road back up to Virginia. We move in with someone who needs help around the house. Things are hard but we are in Virginia. I fall in love with the area and the mountains. I find refuge in our new church. God does amazing things to our hearts.


August
My husband gets fired from his crappy job! We trust in the Lord and we have peace. Its still hard living with a total stranger and we are having a hard time. The summer mountains are beautiful. We enjoy time together as a family and pray for a new job. The men at church lay hands and pray over my husband. The Lord provides a job that we didn't even apply for.


September
My husband starts his new job. Its the first time he has worked inside for as long as I've known him and longer. He enjoys it. He starts working 12 hours a day 7 days a week. We know that you have to be careful what you pray for because God answers. We hardly see my husband and miss him. The pay is good.
We feel that the Lord is leading us to stay in this area instead of building our house over an hour away. We are excited but sad at the same time.
My girl starts Kindergarten at home.

October
My husband turns 42. We begin to look for houses. It is very strange. The overtime has calmed and we are enjoying a good life in Virginia.


November
We find a place! It is a church and we are having a hard time getting financing. We keep praying and asking the Lord for His will only.
We celebrate Thanksgiving with family. I feel very thankful this year for all He has done for us.
My girl starts ballet. It makes me happy.


December
Still waiting on financing. At this point we are asking for God to just close the door because we are tired of this ride. He doesn't close the door. Instead He opens it up a little wider each week.
We are excited to get settled someday in our new place. This means that our adoption process can begin.
Christmas is wonderful. Its quiet and just us. We enjoy time together and look forward to our new year in the mountains.

December

I can't believe it's been over a month since I posted. Since then we ate a lot of pie, my girl turned 6, God provided a memorial box!!!! and we are in the process of buying a church! So much going on. We are trusting God for a lot right now. But aren't we always?
My ten year anniversary is in 2 days. I cannot believe it has been ten years. Christmas is in just a few weeks. We are spending more and more time at our church's Christian school. I am subbing and my daughter is experiencing life in a school setting.
We had our first big snow this past weekend. And almost ended up in a ditch. While it was beautiful, it was scary.
Life is hard at the moment. I know it is for a lot of people. And probably more hard than I ever have to deal with. But the good news is that God cares about each and every single one of us no matter what we are going through. Be it big or small. He cares. And He calls us to cast it all upon Him. Praying for Hope in your Christmas season.

Memorial Box Monday

Visit A Place Called Simplicity for more stories.

God hears our prayers.

What? You knew that already? Yeah I did too. But there is still something so awe inspiring when you see it first hand.

Years ago when I had a little girl I could hardly wait for her to do all of the girly things. One thing I was so excited about was ballet.

I also had a husband that had a lot of baggage. This is a fact: When you marry a man with a previous marriage, you get all of him, baggage and all. They will more than likely come with their point of views about certain things. The only problem was that his point of view came from an ex-wife and an ex-marriage. Divorce is ugly all the way around. God can bring beauty from ashes, but you will be finding ash in everything over the years. Just like when you play with glitter. You can seriously be finding that stuff for years and years. Same thing with the ash. You will find bits and pieces of it for a long time. It will pop up in the most unusual spots. But God eventually turns that bit of ash into bits of beauty.

Back to my story. My husband has 3 boys. Well, they are men now, but one time they were boys. They played every sport imaginable, including gymnastics. This makes me smile because two of them are in the Marine Corps. I can just imagine their drill instructor getting a hold of this information. Anyway. They played a lot of sports. Sometimes two sports at a time. This made for 3 busy boys. Luckily they had grandparents that would pitch in and help take them to games and all of the hundreds of practices.

My husband worked a lot. He was self employed. He worked out in the hot Florida weather every single day. He missed a lot of their games. Now, I could get into all of the details about why my husband had to work so many hours. It had a lot to do with credit card bills that would mysteriously show up in the mail box. Sometimes they would show up in his in-laws mailbox. He wouldn't know about these for a long time. Needless to say, he had to make a certain amount of money to keep the family in the green. He was shamed over and over again for missing games and practices. He is still haunted by the memories of dissapointing his boys.

Fast forward several years. My daughter takes a huge interest in ballet. She dances around the house at only 2 years old. Most girls do this. My husband is very against the idea of enrolling her in class. Or any sport for that matter. Ouch, I just got some ash in my eye. Where did that come from?

Well, I knew that arguing would not matter. I accepted his verdict. My parents and sister kept pestering me about putting her in class. What do I say? I try to keep it neutral and explain to them that she won't be taking ballet classes at this time. NOW QUIT BRINGING IT UP!

I prayed a lot about this. I knew God could change his heart. I just didn't know if He would. It took 2.5 years. Then not too long ago, out of the blue he said he wanted her to take ballet class. I think I was standing in the kitchen. I tried not to let the surprise show on my face. I calmly agreed with him and was profusely praising God in my heart at the same time. God was softening my husband's hard, hard heart. He turned that bit of ash into some beauty. The result? My girl will go to her very first ballet class today at 4pm.

She is over the moon. And my husband? Well, he has been working overtime like crazy. And most of it is mandatory. He doesn't have a choice. Some of it he does choose to work. I have assured him over and over again that he is not required to come to ballet practice. And if he misses her first recital I will take lots of pictures and video and he will not be shamed.

God is turning my husband's ashes into beauty as well. Even after almost 10 years of marriage, he is learning that he is safe. That I love him. And God continues to soften his heart. The other day he asked me why he has turned into such a cry baby. This former marine with a hard heart has cried more this past year than he has his whole life. The only answer I could give him was that God was softening his heart. The very thing I had been praying for years.

Thank you Lord for answering prayers.

Ballet pictures to come soon.

Can You Afford It?

Adoption, that is.

I can't.

I recently read a blog post where someone ranted and raved about all the fundraising going on to bring home one's child. They basically said that if you can't afford to adopt, you shouldn't. Huh? Well, I am actually very glad this person has the money in their bank account to bring home a few children to call their own. I don't. Does that mean we can't or shouldn't adopt? Does that mean an orphan (or millions of them for that matter) should sit in an orphanage the rest of their childhood only to be cast out on the street corner (literally!!) because we don't have the money to adopt them? I'd like to think not.

Aside from the language used, I'd have to say from the overall tone of the entire blog that this person is not a follower of Christ. Now before you call me judgemental because I don't believe someone is a Christian, lets just remember that the Bible says a tree is known by it's fruit. A follower of Christ will not have "perfect" fruit. But it should have some flavor and an overall good taste. You should also be able to recognize this fruit for what it is supposed to be. So for that reason I will conclude that this person is not a Christian. Yes, I could be wrong. And if I am, I will admit to it.

So I guess it would be kinda easy to understand where this person was coming from. To them, they are just getting a daughter or son. A lot of people adopt like this. They adopt, they get on with their lives. I don't have a lot of room to talk because before this year I wouldn't have even adopted. But God is changing my heart. He is softening it.

But what in the world is the matter when someone asks for a little help to bring home their child? If you don't want to contribute, then don't. No one is forcing you. But I bet you will put your money into saving the rainforest. I bet you will be the ones to contribute to planned parenthood.

*****(((Which by the way, look this up, call them up, investigate this...do Susan G. Komen foundation affiliates contribute to planned parenthood?)))*****

The point is that most people give their money towards something they believe in. Why would someone get so bent out of shape because we ask for help to bring home an orphan. For crying out loud there are people asking for money to kill babies. Real babies. Killing them. And they ask for money to help do this. So get off your high horse and let someone raise funds to GIVE LIFE to a baby instead of taking it away!

"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows is God in His holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families" psalm 68:5,6

God Himself is setting the lonely in families. I don't know about you but I want to contribute to God's work.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to a wonderful husband, loving daddy and devoted Man of God
I love you.

Cleaning House

Cleaning house is such a bitter sweet thing. I love the result. Sometimes I even love the chores. It just depends on my mood. I have a pretty clean house. But for some reason I can't keep it clean. Oh, I clean bathrooms once a week usually. I vacuum several times a week. But the minute that floor is cleared of junk, more junk starts appearing. And its not just the girl's fault. Its all of us. I'd love to be one of those people who hangs up and puts away immediately. And sometimes I am. But most of the time things get piled up and thrown around. I can't stand it.
Right now on my floor in my own "grown up" bedroom I have:
a basket of clean clothes
a walmart bag full of garbage
clean and dirty clothes
tons of books beside my bed
dog leash laying in the middle of the floor
men's dress shoes
a clip board
various school supplies
barbie jeep with 2 barbies inside
one of my tennis shoes with a barbie inside
a computer mouse
a scrap of yarn
a pirate patch
dog chew toys
halloween candy
jar of peanut butter
2 things of body wash

Now yes, all of this is in my bedroom but you have to remember that we have a roommate. My family lives in the upstairs 2 bedrooms. My bedroom is like the living room. And before you call the "hoarder" tv show to come to my house I still have a lot of empty floor space.

This will all get cleaned up today but I can't promise you that 50 other things won't take their place tomorrow. Or tonight for that matter.

What does your house look like?